I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
