I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
