Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
