so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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