U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
