How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
