playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
