I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
