So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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