You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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