What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
