If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
