There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
