Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
