oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
