My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
