walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
