so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Randomize
