I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
