What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
