yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she smelled like a LAN party
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
