There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
