I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
