He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
