i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
