I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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