we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
