i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My vagina just clenched in fear
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