a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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