You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
