i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
