everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
