we're blogging at a bar
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
