when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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