it was like eating out sand paper
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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