we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I believe in your delicious
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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