We won't sleep together?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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