I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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