I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
