Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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