More tranny stories later!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
