You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
