weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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