My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
