I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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