its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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