arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
