so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
