you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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