So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
